Finding out you can’t become pregnant can be very distressing, especially if you want children. Many people have, at some point, imagined what their future family might look like, and for some coming to terms with a different future is not easy.
We understand that you may be completely overwhelmed with different feelings at the moment and want to support you to process them as well as possible. On this page, we talk through some feelings you may experience, some of the reasons why you might feel them, and ways to help you move forward.
We also have information on:
How does cervical cancer affect fertility?
Some treatments for cervical cancer affect parts of your body needed for pregnancy, including:
- surgery to remove your cervix (trachelectomy), or your cervix and womb (hysterectomy)
- radiotherapy or brachytherapy that may stop your ovaries working and damage your womb
- chemotherapy that can damage immature eggs in your ovaries.
Read more about treatments for cervical cancer >
While having a trachelectomy means you may still be able to become pregnant, some of these treatments can trigger the menopause. This is when your periods (monthly bleeding) stop and you won’t be able to become pregnant.
Read more about the menopause >
Managing grief
Although we usually connect loss with someone dying, loss can take many forms. Not being able to have a child or more children is a significant loss and many people take time to grieve.
Everyone reacts to grief differently and moves through it at their own pace. Give yourself the time you need, without comparing how you feel to others. It’s also important to remember that grief, like many emotions, can express itself in different ways – you may find yourself crying one moment and feeling incredibly angry the next. This is common but can be emotionally exhausting, especially as you try to deal with everything else related to cancer.
We spoke with other people affected by fertility changes, who shared the following tips.
Learn about the stages of grief
Some people find it useful to understand as much as possible about their situation, as it can help them feel prepared and less alone. The stages of grief describe common feelings you may have after a loss. We talk about some of these stages in this information, and the NHS also have information about the stages.
Be kind to yourself
Whatever this means to you, do it. For some people, it means taking care of their body through pampering, whether that’s a long bath or a face mask. For others, it might mean spending some time alone or with an expert, like a counsellor, to care for their mind. Or it could simply mean focusing on a favourite hobby or activity, like painting or gardening.
Ask for support
Remember, you don’t have to struggle with grief alone. Some people find it helpful to talk with loved ones, while others prefer to talk with a stranger, like a professional counsellor. For other people, the most helpful thing is talking with others who have gone through similar experiences. It may help you feel less alone and lets you get support from a community that truly understands your feelings.
