There are no products in your shopping cart.
I was diagnosed with cancer in April after months of waiting and scans. I first was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma 1b1 but the size of my tumor 6cm bumped me up to 1b2. On my pet scan it showed shadows in my para aorta and pelvic lymph node area so they scheduled me for a lymph node removal surgery and and ovary retransposition. They told me I was going to need chemo radiation and brachytherapy. I tried to do egg freezing before my surgery, but the timing was off w my menstration and they were only able to get 2 eggs. The dr said the chances of getting a embryo from just 2 is very very slim. So that was heart breaking to hear at age 33 and never had children, I thought I had quite a bit more time. I was starting to get pretty mad at myself because I had waited 6 years between my last Pap smear . Y ? I don’t know why I got so caught up with everyday life I had been so good w Pap smears before that and had never had a abnormal one. Me n my boyfriend had been together for 11 years , so naively I didn’t think I had anything to worry about .i do my surgery and it comes back my paraaorta was clear , thank god. But I had 1 microscopic lymph node involvement in the pelvic area. I live in the United States and I guess here if u have any lymph node involvement it’s automatically stage 3 . So those words just scared me to pieces. I just couldn’t believe how bad it was I had no pain at all. So they told me I was going to have to do 25 extended field radiations 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy.my first 2 weeks of treatment were good but after that I started getting really bad bladder problems and it would make it hard for me to hold my bladder for radiation.and one Time my bladder was too full and I guess I had gas too so I had to get my body right in order to do my session. After that it just gave me some kind of complex where all I could think about is my bladder and if it was full enough or too much. I would get really bad anxiety before each external radiation the following weeks. And my bladder got so much worse and in my final week I got really bad stomach issues and in my last days I got a radiation burn on my butt. Before my brachytherapy they did a mri scan it showed that the tumor was pretty much gone but I still had swollen lymph nodes and something called ascites so that really worries me . It’s been a month since my treatment ended 2 weeks ago I had a pelvic exam which surprisingly wasn’t painful. I had to start using the dialators then too, which isn’t fun they did the ovary transposition surgery but I don’t think it took . A couple days after my brachytherapy I woke up just drenched in sweat that happened a couple times and in the evening and early mornings I get hot flashes. My hair is also shedding really bad more than with chemo . I’m also really dry down there , I have to use a ton of lube with my dialator and even then it’s uncomfortable. My drs said to give it 6 months to see if it’s menopause or just from treatment but I think my symptoms are getting worse, so it makes me so sad . I thought when treatment was over I would be fine but I’m still so anxious and scared. I have a scan in November which will be 3 months post treatment to see if it’s gone . I just get scared that it hasn’t gone or if it will spread or reoccurrence. I think the lymph node involvement scares me the most.and I don’t know what the ascites is , they just said that’s unusual.my stomach has gotten better but still not completely normal, in the mornings it’s like I can hear water moving through it. My bladder did get better though.i get sad at the thought of not having children and then it takes me back to the beginning, had I went to my Pap smear sooner maybe my life would be different, I don’t know. I hope it gets easier with time but for now I just feel anxious if the cancer is gone and scared I’m going to be living in fear for a reoccurrence if is gone .