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Hi everyone, I've never posted here before. But I'm really struggling at the moment. I had surgery about 6 weeks ago to have my pelvic lymph nodes removed, thankfully they were clear. I'll now be monitored regularly by my oncology team. The physical recovery is going ok but despite my good news I feel overwhelmed by this new normal of having been diagnosed with cancer and what this might mean for my future. I also have the BRCA1 mutation which means my likelihood of developing ovarian and breast cancers is greatly increased, so after experiencing cervical cancer I'm worried about quite a real and high risk of further cancers. I feel guilty because I know in lots of ways I'm one of the lucky ones not needing further treatment currently.
All these feelings have affected how I am socially; I now find being in groups of people quite difficult and tiring and struggle to know what to say in conversation which is completely different to how I was before. I'm also really worried about returning to work as I work in a busy and emotionally demanding setting. I have been trying to access psychological support but the wait seems to be several months everywhere I have enquired. I've found it hard to explain the combination of relief, worry, guilt and sadness to others. Have other people experienced these feelings after treatment?
Aug 2019 - referred for colposcopy following routine smear
Sept 2019 - LLETZ biopsy showed CGIN high grade abnormal cell changes
Oct 2019 - Diagnosed with cervical cancer (adenocarcinoma) aged 31 ?1a1 but unclear margins
Nov 19 - MRI and 2x further LLETZ biopsies to guide treatment, re-staged as 1b1
Dec 2019 - Pelvic lymphadenectomy
Dec 2019 - Lymph nodes clear - no further treatment required at present; ongoing 3 monthly monitoring. Strongly recommended to have hysterectomy in coming years due to CC and BRCA1 mutation
Jan 2020 - diagnosed with lymphoedema to left groin