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I’ve never posted on anything like this but felt it’s time I reached out. I had stage one cancer three years ago both on the lining of cervix and in the glands, I was diagnosed when my little girl was 9 months. I had a cone biopsy which thankfully removed the cancer but I had issues following that, I had a lot of scar tissue from the procedure and I have spent three years back and forth the hospital every few months trying to do Various smears and procedures to make sure the cancer has not returned, all of which did not work. This year I started bleeding really heavily for over a month and sadly made the very hard decision to have a hysterectomy having been told the likelihood of me getting pregnant again was very low and due to all the procedures I had I would be classed as very high risk. I say make the decision but it was a decision I did not want to make. But felt I could not continue my life as it was. Cancer had completely changed me and I was fearful of my body and that the cancer had returned having not been able to be checked for over three years. My op was in September and physically I was very lucky and recovered well from the op, they managed to retain my ovaries also. Emotionally I am struggling. I am just throwing myself into daily routine as I don’t know what else to do and feel if I stop I will crumble and I can’t crumble I have a four year old, but I am heartbroken at not being able to have more children and it has deeply affected me and my marriage. I feel a bit lost. I just wanted to see how anyone else is feeling in a similar position as often I minimise what has happened and put how I feel down to me being weak and soft. Also I don’t want to put on my family too much as I know they can’t understand and also I know that they long for me to be ok so I just want to be ok for them.