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Emotional Rollercoaster post treatment

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StacyJane
Emotional Rollercoaster post treatment

So after 6 weeks of chemo , 7 weeks of rads followed by a full hysterectomy 7 weeks ago, I am back at work.  I work at an upscale grocery store.  I am having some crazy moods swings. Crying almost daily. I am exhausted, in pain and depressed . I don't know if it is from the hormones, trauma, covid complications etc. I feel crazy. I just want something "normal". I want to move on. I was so excited to go back to work but it is so stressful. I unfortunately live in a covid Hotspot (people are idiots!) and I have to work to keep my insurance. Also my husband cannot work because the state has all bars closed. He has not been able to work for 4 months now because of me. He is afraid to go back to work there any way, because he doesn't. Want to get me sick.  

I guess i have plenty of reasons to feel overwhelmed. I just don't know what to do. 

My doctor says PTSD is something that a lot of cancer survivors deal with and I am wondering if anyone has experienced this? I wish I could keep her on speed dial. Lol. I only get to see her once a month. 

Feeling alone and sad and overwhelmed. 

This group has been such a huge help. Thank you all. Nothing like this here in the US that I can find. ❤

2/11/2020  pap suspected cancer

Same day biopsy certain cc

2/17 positive for cc 

2/21 PET 

2/26 PET rrsult 3C w/lymph node 

3/19 1st rads 7 weeks

First chemo 3/23 6 weeks

1 week later full hysterectomy

PET scan first week of August

55

Hi StacyJane

A few weeks ago I wrote a post called " What happened?" and in it I mentioned a paper I read about on another site by Dr Peter Harvey - called "After the treatment finishes - what then?" It is about the feelings you can expect post treatment. As you say that rollercoaster feeling. In another post you asked what HRT is. It is hormone replacement therapy. Post menopausal women like myself are sometimes prescribed this by their doctors ro alleviate menopause symptoms. I was advised to take it by my consultant as they think the menopause may have caused the discrepancy in my results. I have found that it has also helped to alleviate my aches and pains, fatigue and my low mood  I hope you will feel better soon. Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. You could ask your doctor whether HRT could help you so long as they feel it's ok for you to take the hormones post treatment.

Hugs 

A

1st ever abnormal smear hpv & severe high grade dyskaryosis August 2019 lletz September 2019 polyp & nabothian cyst found Results hpv & mild cell changes polyp innocent Repeat colposcopy Dec 2019 test of cure January 2020 results of test of cure; no high risk HPV present , check up colposcopy appointment in June because of the discrepancy between initial smear & lletz result - June 2020 repeat colposcopy & pap - all clear - discharged from hospital - next smear in 3 yrs

StacyJane

Thank you. I found it. Very helpful. This week has been better. 

 

2/11/2020  pap suspected cancer

Same day biopsy certain cc

2/17 positive for cc 

2/21 PET 

2/26 PET rrsult 3C w/lymph node 

3/19 1st rads 7 weeks

First chemo 3/23 6 weeks

1 week later full hysterectomy

PET scan first week of August

Harvitt

Hi stacey, 

Yourve come so so far. We all have. Keep going. We are all here for you. As 55 said maybe try hrt. It's helped me. You must be exhausted. Yourve had chemorads and THEN a hysterectomy. Your wonder woman! 

Keeley xxx

06 Jan 20 massive bleed. 7 feb 20 smear came back highly differentiated severe dyskolious. 14 Feb biopsies taken. 21st Feb cc cells found. 22 Feb 20 told poorly differentiated squamous cell. 28 Feb staged at 2a. Tumour is 2.4mm/9mm 6 March restaged at 3c due to 3 lymph node involvement - x1 2cm. 12 Mar 20 met oncologist - told me coronavirus will probably kill me before cc does. 18 March 20 pre scan booked.
StacyJane

Hrt probably not an option because my grandmother had hormone sensitive breast cancer. But my doc says we will discuss after my 12 week follow up exam and PET scan. I will check out the article. 

It helps just to talk about it with people who understand. 

Thank you ladies. 

 

2/11/2020  pap suspected cancer

Same day biopsy certain cc

2/17 positive for cc 

2/21 PET 

2/26 PET rrsult 3C w/lymph node 

3/19 1st rads 7 weeks

First chemo 3/23 6 weeks

1 week later full hysterectomy

PET scan first week of August

Harvitt

How about acupuncture and advise on suppliments? 

06 Jan 20 massive bleed. 7 feb 20 smear came back highly differentiated severe dyskolious. 14 Feb biopsies taken. 21st Feb cc cells found. 22 Feb 20 told poorly differentiated squamous cell. 28 Feb staged at 2a. Tumour is 2.4mm/9mm 6 March restaged at 3c due to 3 lymph node involvement - x1 2cm. 12 Mar 20 met oncologist - told me coronavirus will probably kill me before cc does. 18 March 20 pre scan booked.
StacyJane

Love acupuncture. Will need to get that scheduled. Hadn't thought of that. I take vit b and d. Will talk more with my doc. 

2/11/2020  pap suspected cancer

Same day biopsy certain cc

2/17 positive for cc 

2/21 PET 

2/26 PET rrsult 3C w/lymph node 

3/19 1st rads 7 weeks

First chemo 3/23 6 weeks

1 week later full hysterectomy

PET scan first week of August

LaurieBeth

StacyJane-

First of all, I am so sorry you are feeling this way.  After everything you have endured, I want nothing but smooth sailing for you. I have not been through nearly what you have because RH was my cure, and I am still terrified about how I am going to manage when I return to work two weeks from now.  I work in another COVID hotspot in the US (Georgia) and our governor is offering little to no guidance on opening schools safely and my school system is not even going to require mandatory masks. So I am going to be expected to be in an enclosed, concrete classroom with at least 25 sixteen and seventeen-year-old possibly unmasked humans.  We have been quarantining since March 13 and the thought of being in a buildling with two thousand high schoolers is totally overwhelming. I even went to surgery alone...I feel like I have turned into some sort of hermit.  I think life "after" cancer takes a minute to process.  I also think it important for those of us who have done this during a pandemic to acknowledge that at a time when everyone around us has been suffering with stress and mental illness from COVID, we have shouldered the two C's a  the SAME TIME.  That is a lot. I think it is going to be hard for things to feel normal again for everyone, and it will be that much harder for us.  It is going to take time.  I hope you will give yourself some grace; you have definitely earned it.

The hormones are definitely in play, too.  I know that there are actual practitioners in the US who are menopause practitioners.  It might be worth trying to see if there is a specialist in your area covered by your insurance who really understands the ins and outs of the process.  Also, you might turn to a homepathic doctor; insurance does not cover them, but I have seen one in my area before and they can be absolute genuiuses at supplements and alternative medicines and in creating natural plans to deal with medical issues. I would just say, however you handle it, don't just settle for feeling badly.  Women often do, but the treatment of menopausal symptoms has come a long way, so advocate for yourself until you get the help you need.

I hope it gets better as you settle into your new routine.  Sending you all my best thoughts and energy.

LBA 

11/18Abnormal Pap CINIII

12/18Colpo confirmsCINIII

12/18Cold Knife cone biopsy confirms CiNIII, clear margins-doctor suggest hysterectomy

1/19 second opinion-close monitoring appropriate

5/19, 8/19 paps and colpos CIN I

2/20 Pap reveals CIN III

3/17/20 Lietz under GA

3/20/20 Diagnosed with invasice cervical cancer, no clear margins

5/12/20Radical Hysterectomy, Lymph node dissection, ovarian transposition-Staged 1B1-no further treatment needed

Follow up 9/28/20

 

 

StacyJane

Oh no LaurieBeth! I am so worried for all of the teachers! I wish they would give it some more time. We have over 1,100 new cases a day in Dallas right now. I just don't see the point if putting all those people in danger. Your gov and mine are two peas in a rotten pod. I am feeling a little better this week. More strength less crying lol. Everyone wears masks and if they don't have it on properly i just walk away. Sanitize if i touch anything and wash my hands several times in between. Strip down in the laundry room and immediately shower everyday when i get home. I know we have experienced extra trauma and we need to give ourselves grace (i love that thank you). 

I appreciate your kindness. I will be praying for you to not have to return to class. 

Stay strong and safe. 

2/11/2020  pap suspected cancer

Same day biopsy certain cc

2/17 positive for cc 

2/21 PET 

2/26 PET rrsult 3C w/lymph node 

3/19 1st rads 7 weeks

First chemo 3/23 6 weeks

1 week later full hysterectomy

PET scan first week of August

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Moving forward from a cancer diagnosis