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So scared of my treatment

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Izzy76
So scared of my treatment

Hi everyone,

 

I’ve been diagnosed with cc 2B just recently. i am from the Netherlands and there is no online comunity available so I Googled and found this ace. i’ve been doing a ton of Reading here lately and finaly decided to create my own account.

 

I was diagnosed because I kept spotting after my baby girl was Born last march. Had an apointment at my gynecologist to Make sure the spotting didn’t come from having a section.

 

little did I know. She examined me and I starten bleeding heavily. She said my cervix didn’t feel Right and didn’t look good either. She mentioned cc right away wich completely shocked me. This was on August 8th and within five weeks I’ve had all the scans and colposcopy. 

 

Mri showed three suspect lymf nodes but these were not visible on my pet scan, and there is a slight spread in my parametrium. 

 

They Will still treat my lymf nodes as beeing cancerous and Will also Zapp my para aortic nodes ( extended field) just to Make sure they got it all 

 

My treatment of 6 chemo and 25 radio plus 2 24hour pulse rate brachy Will start this coming wednesday and I am petrified 

 

I got the medicine bag today ( emend, ondansetron , primperan, lorazepam, magnesium and loperamide) and I almost lost it. So scared of becoming verry sick and not beeing able to function.

 

can someone please ease my mind, and give me Some tips on how to handle and overcome this? 

 

Thanks❤️

lboyle89

Hello Izzy welcome to the forum. I am a 2b patient myself. I finished treatment June 2018 and am doing well and enjoying my life! My advice would be just not to get too far ahead...take each day as it comes and take help and support from your loved ones. Also I would say drink plenty of water and use e45 on your radiation areas. Good luck with your treatment and feel free to reach out to others XX 

Rissag

Izzy, I was scared too but you’ll get through it . Don’t be scared for brachytherapy I did two overnight stays for it for a total of 4 brachytherapies. It wasn’t at all as bad I had imagined.treatment is long but it does end. Get some comfy clothes, drink lots of water and cranberry juice. I got these hard ginger candies that worked really well for nausea.the first two weeks aren’t bad at all about week3 my bladder got irritated so I had to make sure to drink lots of water and monitor it . I too had extended field radiation and didn’t really get bad stomach issues till my last week but the loperamide will fix that. I started on a probiotic yogurt after treatment ended that helped with stomach issues.i used hand warmers on my veins on chemo days so they wouldn’t have trouble with my veins, that helped a lot it gets pretty cold in the chemo room.and your veins do not like the cold .in the beginning half the week you’ll be constipated and some days you’ll have loose stool, but you kind of learn how your body is going to react on certain days and u just take the meds.i started on a Wednesday too the Chemo side effects usually kicked in on Saturday and Sunday. Try to rest , you can do this! Hope everything goes well, if you have any questions feel free to ask. I did a post about the 2 overnight brachytherapy experience.

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19
emmz13

Hey lovely, 

I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s really such a hard time but try not to be scared of treatment. I’m currently in hospital waiting for my brachytherapy.  Everyone responds to the treatment differently, I had 28 external radiations 5 cisplatin and haven’t had a single physical side effect so far, I panicked so much about chemo and it was fine, I did drink the most obscene amount of water on chemo day and the two days after. I made lots of smoothies with spinach as I’m prone to getting anaemic and made lots of meals for the freezer in case I didn’t feel like cooking but didn’t want junk food. 

A radiographer said to me the kinder you are to yourself at the beginning can change how you feel at the end, rest as much as you can, don’t over do things, and hopefully you will be fine.

I had my list of radiotherapy appointment times and everyday I crossed one off the list as that list got shorter it helped me stay focused and positive. Then Every Friday to celebrate being a week down the hubby and I would have a non-alcoholic bottle of bubbly to celebrate (I’d have preferred the real stuff but I gave up alcohol and caffeine for the treatment), I found the small things kept me going. So maybe pick something you like to do or have and use it as a reward for getting through, it’s good to have things to focus on. For me my battle has definitely been mental.  

Everyone you meet will know exactly how to help you with anything you may struggle with, just tell them, no matter how small it is they are there for you.

 I could never get my bladder right, coz even at 600ml I don’t feel full so I had to partially empty a lot, my pelvic floor has never had so much exercise! I found it mentally very hard, and had a dark time about week 3, I found relaxation apps and breathing techniques really helped.

Your treatment is aiming at a cure! Try to focus on that. It does work lots of women on here are success stories. 

Massive hugs, we are all here if you ever need us. 

Love Emma xx 

May 19 odd symptoms

03/06/19 doctors appt internal exam, said everything looked fine, did smear. 

10/06/19 urgent colposcopy due to HPV positive and severe changes. 

21/06/19 consultant sees 2cm tumour takes punch biopsies. She’s pretty sure it’s cc.

24/06/19 cancer confirmed, grade 3 preliminary staging 1b.

03/07/19 X-ray. 08/07/19 MRI and PET scan. 10/07/19 MDT meeting

15/07/19 restaged 2b parametrial invasion no lymph node involvement.

16/07/19 treatment 5 1/2 weeks chemorads

18/07/19 planning MRI 26/07/19 preassessment Chemo

05/08/19 chemorads start

11/09/19 chemorads end!!!! 

16/09/19 Brachy

19/09/19 DONE!!!! 

Izzzy76

Girls, thank you so much for the vote of confidence and your tips and tricks. They really do Make all the difference.

 

I barely slept last night, woke up every hour from weird dreams and nightmares. I truely hope my treatment Will be kind to me since I have a six month old to take care of.

 

Will be buying saltines, coke, and ginger tea/candies/fresh ginger as well as aloe Vera.

 

I’ll ask my radiodoc if it’s useful to take probiotica during ttreatment.

 

xox

suzanne

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Izzzy76

Fitst chemo down! Wasn’t bad at all, just a long day with many trips to the bathroom.

 

first radio down too. This was quite an ordeal because my bladder was way too full. Had to get dressed again, empty half my almost exploding bladder, get back, undress, align, and again bladder too full. Get dressed, pee again, wait for 15 minutes, undress and align, and finaly they performed their Zapp.

 

fingers crossed that I Will get through this properly. 

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Rissag

That’s great to hear 1 down. Yeah I hate the whole bladder thing, having to get it just right. I think towards the end I had a bladder complex lol where that’s all I could think about. On chemo days I would pee like 10 min before my session because it would just feel up so quickly with all the fluids they give. Try not to stress you will kind of get the feel of how much you need in there .

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19
emmz13

Well done on completing day one!!! Totally with you on the bladder problems, always worse on the chemo days where I think I spent most of my time peeing lol 

i just never got the bladder thing right, one time I went and let out 250ml went back and was fuller than I was before lol the radiographers got used to me in the end I was usually 3rd time lucky :)

I just made sure I was always well hydrated so I never had to wait too long to refill. I found time went quite quickly once treatment started and it’ll be over before you know it. 

Much love Emma xx 

May 19 odd symptoms

03/06/19 doctors appt internal exam, said everything looked fine, did smear. 

10/06/19 urgent colposcopy due to HPV positive and severe changes. 

21/06/19 consultant sees 2cm tumour takes punch biopsies. She’s pretty sure it’s cc.

24/06/19 cancer confirmed, grade 3 preliminary staging 1b.

03/07/19 X-ray. 08/07/19 MRI and PET scan. 10/07/19 MDT meeting

15/07/19 restaged 2b parametrial invasion no lymph node involvement.

16/07/19 treatment 5 1/2 weeks chemorads

18/07/19 planning MRI 26/07/19 preassessment Chemo

05/08/19 chemorads start

11/09/19 chemorads end!!!! 

16/09/19 Brachy

19/09/19 DONE!!!! 

Izzzy76

Goodmorning, Thanks both again for your replica, they mean the world to me since I geel like such an outsider amongst my friends. 

 

They are all so kind and positive but they havent got a clue aa to what it feels like ( thank God for that) 

Woke up a few times feeling a bit shakey and off, figured thats the dexamethason doing it’s job. No nausea yet ( my biggest fear, I am fobic for nausea and vommiting, and am terrified to spend the next month and a half critically ill)

 

i’ve been Reading Tivoli ‘s and lolli’s and Philleepa’s stories as wel as Petdragon ( the fab ladie that Has overcome cancer twice). Their stories and yours give me so much hope that I too Will be okay.

 

Much love ,

suzanne 

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Izzzy76

And please excuse any grammar or spelling issues, English is not my first language so please bare with me :) 

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
noodlesdoodles

You are doing amazingly well already as you’ve taken the challenge head on. Well done you! 

Just know we are all here with you- no matter where we are in the world! Xx

emmz13

Hey Izzy,

Your English is brilliant much better than my Dutch would be! Autocorrect on this site is just terrible for some reason. 

You’re doing great, Just keep going, take each day at a time as lobule said and if there is something that is bothering you, mention it to someone and they will try to help. I wasn’t sick with chemo, I think their drug combo worked brilliantly for me but I saw people who weren’t so lucky and straight away the nurses were using different anti sickness and trying to make everything as ok as it can be.

The steroids made me wired and sleeping for long periods was impossible I just had a nap whenever I got too tired and was pretty lazy my entire treatment it worked well, not so easy with a little one, but try sleeping when she sleeps and don’t worry about house work. 

Try not to over do it and be kind to yourself the mundane parts of life like cleaning etc can wait it’ll still be there once you’re done. 

The women you mention are inspirational, reading their stories when I first joined gave me such hope, and that they are still here giving advice and support shows what wonderful people they are. You will get through this, this treatment works and it works well, at time it’s unpleasant but try to focus on its success and stay as positive as you can, you’ll be done before you know it. 

This forum is the best, so anything you may need to ask or are just curious about there’s someone here whose been there and can help. 

Good luck with day 3!! You have got this!! Stay strong! 

Love Emma xxx 

May 19 odd symptoms

03/06/19 doctors appt internal exam, said everything looked fine, did smear. 

10/06/19 urgent colposcopy due to HPV positive and severe changes. 

21/06/19 consultant sees 2cm tumour takes punch biopsies. She’s pretty sure it’s cc.

24/06/19 cancer confirmed, grade 3 preliminary staging 1b.

03/07/19 X-ray. 08/07/19 MRI and PET scan. 10/07/19 MDT meeting

15/07/19 restaged 2b parametrial invasion no lymph node involvement.

16/07/19 treatment 5 1/2 weeks chemorads

18/07/19 planning MRI 26/07/19 preassessment Chemo

05/08/19 chemorads start

11/09/19 chemorads end!!!! 

16/09/19 Brachy

19/09/19 DONE!!!! 

Izzzy76

A little update on my end. 

 

After my first chemo I felt quite good, no nausea wich for me is a big deal, I am really fobic when it comes to vommiting. 

 

Unafortunatly I had a major bleed two days after my first chemo and three radio blasts. I had to be admitted and they stuffed me with gauze to stop the bleeding, I wasn’t allowed to use the pills ( tranexamine acid) I was provided   Before treatment because they could cause clotting combined with cisplatin.

 

After two days the packing was removed and the bleeding had subsided , unafortunatly my blood count was way too low and I needed a transfusion wich Made feel better instantly.

 

I was discharged right after my second chemo and booked for another mri for radio-planning . 

 

i got a call from my radiologist and he told me they could already see a decrease in the tumor. After 6 blasts and 1 chemo the tumor was measuring 37 mm instead of 44 so this was a major positive phonecall. 

Also I don’t have many side effects from the chemo ( not feeling sick at all thank goodness) so this gave me a real positive boost

 

I still feel very scared about the suspect lymph nodes they told me about early on although they didn’t show up on the pet scan. 

 

And I am terrified of my brachy therapy. Good thing it’s four weeks away. I’ll have a chat with my consultant about it tomorow, it’s becomming this huge thing in my mind 

 

 

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
emmz13

Hey izzzy!! 

What a fantastic update, shrinkage already woohoo!!! You’re doing amazing! I hope you are very proud of yourself for getting through such a difficult time. 

I am so sorry that everything seems to be going wrong but your oncology team seem to be totally on topof things.

Keep the positive thoughts going not matter what, your treatment is aimed at being a cure and it’s sooo much better to focus on that. 

Well done you amazing woman keep kicking cancers butt!!! 

 

Love Emma 

May 19 odd symptoms

03/06/19 doctors appt internal exam, said everything looked fine, did smear. 

10/06/19 urgent colposcopy due to HPV positive and severe changes. 

21/06/19 consultant sees 2cm tumour takes punch biopsies. She’s pretty sure it’s cc.

24/06/19 cancer confirmed, grade 3 preliminary staging 1b.

03/07/19 X-ray. 08/07/19 MRI and PET scan. 10/07/19 MDT meeting

15/07/19 restaged 2b parametrial invasion no lymph node involvement.

16/07/19 treatment 5 1/2 weeks chemorads

18/07/19 planning MRI 26/07/19 preassessment Chemo

05/08/19 chemorads start

11/09/19 chemorads end!!!! 

16/09/19 Brachy

19/09/19 DONE!!!! 

Izzzy76

Thank you Emma, hope you are having a fantastic time in Japan

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
emmz13

Apart from melting with the heat (I am so much more a winter person lol) I am having a blast thank you!! 

I hope very much everything keeps going wonderfully for you, it will be worth it in the end.

much love to you, you’re doing amazingly xx 

May 19 odd symptoms

03/06/19 doctors appt internal exam, said everything looked fine, did smear. 

10/06/19 urgent colposcopy due to HPV positive and severe changes. 

21/06/19 consultant sees 2cm tumour takes punch biopsies. She’s pretty sure it’s cc.

24/06/19 cancer confirmed, grade 3 preliminary staging 1b.

03/07/19 X-ray. 08/07/19 MRI and PET scan. 10/07/19 MDT meeting

15/07/19 restaged 2b parametrial invasion no lymph node involvement.

16/07/19 treatment 5 1/2 weeks chemorads

18/07/19 planning MRI 26/07/19 preassessment Chemo

05/08/19 chemorads start

11/09/19 chemorads end!!!! 

16/09/19 Brachy

19/09/19 DONE!!!! 

Rissag

Hi Izzy, 

 sorry you had a little set back , but I’m glad you’re pushing through and doing good. Great to hear there’s already shrinkage , that’s wonderful news! Do you know what kind of brachytherapy your going to have? Weekly or altogether at the end? I thought brachytherapy wasn’t so bad , I thought it was easier than external radiation, I didn’t have the stress of having to get my bladder just right. Keep us updated, glad you’re ok!

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19
Izzzy76

I’m supposed to have two 24 hour sessions of brachy, one in three weeks ans the other in four weeks from now. They scare the living daylight out of me :( 

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Rissag

I was scared too, it’s a scary thing to think about. Especially when you read online certain things, but for me it was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. Try not to think about it and I hope your doing well.

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19
Izzzy76

Chemo three down and 12 radio blasts done. Halfway there. 

 

thankfully I don’t have many side effects so far,  counting my blessings. Fysically I am doing fine so far but mentally I am in a horrible place. 

 

So scared of what if this doesn’t work, what if it had spread already but didn’t show on my scans. Dreadful. 

 

My oncologist told me to not to worry, that I have all the more reason to be positive. She said the pet scan was clear, no signs of lymfe nodes involved or spread anywhere outside the pelvis. She said there was no lvsi present in my biopt and the mri I had after six days of radio treatment already shows a good response to treatment. 

 

But still, I am so scared that I wont be able to see my six month little girl grow up. 

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Rissag

That’s great that you’re half way to being done ! It definitely is a emotional experience that could be mentally challenging . It’s good that nothing popped up in your recent scans and the tumor is already responding, your doing great! I’m getting pretty nervous right now too, I have my first scan post treatment in a month November 7th to see if my treatment worked and if I’m cancer free. It definitely is a emotional roller coaster and the feelings you feel , your not alone . Many of people felt the same way including myself, I know it’s hard not to think about it but try to hold on to the good news you got and keep pushing forward, before you know it you’ll be done with your treatment:-)

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19
Izzzy76

Rissag so sweet of you responsing to me whilst going through your own battle. Means a lot to me ❤️ Thank you 

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
emmz13

Hey lovely, 

i found myself in a difficult place mentally about half way through, I think the treatment is much more mental than I gave it credit to. You can do this, you’re such an amazing woman and I know you will find the strength to get through those fears. 

Its brilliant that your scans are showing such positive results. All you can really do like the rest of us is have faith that the treatment is working, stay positive as best you can and live your best life.

 I hope that things get better for you mentally, stay focused on the end, soon you’ll be so close to finishing and it feels good! 

Much love, 

emma xxx 

May 19 odd symptoms

03/06/19 doctors appt internal exam, said everything looked fine, did smear. 

10/06/19 urgent colposcopy due to HPV positive and severe changes. 

21/06/19 consultant sees 2cm tumour takes punch biopsies. She’s pretty sure it’s cc.

24/06/19 cancer confirmed, grade 3 preliminary staging 1b.

03/07/19 X-ray. 08/07/19 MRI and PET scan. 10/07/19 MDT meeting

15/07/19 restaged 2b parametrial invasion no lymph node involvement.

16/07/19 treatment 5 1/2 weeks chemorads

18/07/19 planning MRI 26/07/19 preassessment Chemo

05/08/19 chemorads start

11/09/19 chemorads end!!!! 

16/09/19 Brachy

19/09/19 DONE!!!! 

Izzzy76

Chemo 4 in the pocket. My blood was excellent according Tommy oncoligist, she was quite pleased with my overal reaction to treatment, I’ve had little to no side effects yet, no stomach problems or diaroea ( spelling?) so far. 

 

Not really fatigue yet either so thats really Nice. Fysically i would say this treatment is completely doable. Mentally however I am struggling big time, so scared of my treatment not working and other big what ifs. My oncologist said I wish I could take that away from you since there is no reason to be this concerned.

 

I do have Some pain in my leg, not severe but a niggling pain radiating from my bum muscle towards my knee, it’s like a sciatic pain, wich off course scares the hell out of me. I’ve mentioned it to my oncolist and radio doctor and they don’t seen the least bit concerned. 

 

I’ll see if I can do a bit more stretching and walking cause i’ve been spending way too much time on my butt doing nothing but read here 

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Rissag

Oh that’s great news! When is your last day? Did u get the hang of how much water u needed for your bladder for radiation? That’s good to hear you’re doing good with treatment!

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19
Izzzy76

How are you doing Rissag, are you feeling better after all your treatment?

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Rissag

Yes I am , occasionally my bladder still gets irritated but then I just skip a day or two from using the dilators then it settles down. I think it might of been from my surgery before treatment though,they did a cystoscopy and a bladder biopsy when they did my lymph node removal surgery.so sometimes it feels like my urethra gets sensitive. I just get nervous sometimes for my scan coming up and some days I get a little sad at my loss of fertility and the thought of not having children.im also having the menopause symptoms, really bad hot flashes at night and vaginal dryness . But my doctors said they wanted to give my body a little break before they put me on hormone replacements or doing any testing for menopause.i think I need to hurry up and get on the hormones though the hot flashes are driving me nuts. And the mood swings, one day I’m fine and the next day I’m crying like a baby lol , so I need to get these hormones under control.

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19
Izzzy76

Chemo five done and 21 radio blasts done. 

 

No burning bits. No bowl issues. No nausea. i’ve asked the team if this means my treatment is not working. Which  is not the case, how you cope has nothing to do with the Outcome. Even my blood is really well, platelets were even risen compared to last week and my hemoglobine was at 9.1 ( 5,8 when I started treatment)

 

my oncologiste was really pleased with the overal Numbers. She was really optimistic and that helped me

a bit since I’ve had a terrible time mentally. So scared of not making it, worrieng about spread or reccurrences ( after Reading Some terribly sad stories here in my search for ned stories) 

The mental battle is the biggest fight I’ve ever fought.

 

And off course now I am completely bricking brachy, this next monday is my first found of 1-2, and next week I get another 2 spread over 26 hours. Ive been Reading Some reports and it seems that brachy adds a 12% to the overal survival rates, way too much to skip because of my fears. So I need to woman up and take it like a girl. 

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Rissag

That’s absolutely great news,you’re almost finished! You will have no problem with the brachytherapy, you got this! Yeah the mental thing could be a struggle sometimes, i remember I would read a couple good Ned stories but then I would read a sad story, and it would seem like I never read the good ones and I would panic and stress. Screenshot and save the good ones, so u can go back and look at them and try to forget about the sad ones, I know it’s hard. I’m so glad you’re doing so good, before you know it,it will be over :-)

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19
Izzzy76

First brachy up tomorow and man I am brickin’ it. So scared for both the treatment itself as for the mri scan results, what if the treatment hasn’t worked, what if the tumor spread instead of shrunk. I am so scared :( and on top of it all I had Some light pink-brown discharge this morning. I hope its the tumor breaking down 

 

 

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Rissag

It’s most likely the tumor breaking down.try not to be scared, I know it’s hard but you’re almost done. You can do this !  I hope everything goes smooth for you tomorrow, try not to worry:-)

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19
Izzzy76

First brachy done! Feeling absolutely drained but it wasn’t as bad as I Made it up to be.

 

I got wheeled in first thing in the morning for an mri and since I’ve had a panick attack a few weeks ago . The teamtMade it possible for me to go in feet first and one of the team menners sat by my head to comfort me during the scan.

 

after the scan was done I was given an epidural which went fine. I chose to stay awake during the whole procedure and the rods were placed, didn’t feel a thing and it took about 15 minutes.

 

after that I had to have another mri scan and when that was done the radiologist came in to tell me that my tumor has been reduced by 97% and the lymph nodes they thought were suspicious also shrank ( they didn’t show up on pet scan)

 

They then brought me to my suite and I had to wait for a few hours so they could do their calculating. Around 14.30 I was brought back to the radio-ward and again.. an mri. Then they hooked me up this little cart like machine and i got my first Zapp which took about 5 minutes.

 

when it was done I was brought back to my room for my overnight stay. At this time my epidural had worn out but they gave me a morphine pump with a clicker just in case.

 

I never used it, paracetamol was enough to cover the pain and discomfort. Most discomfort came from my bowl ( gas). I didn’t sleep very well but the nurses did their best to Make me comfortable ( turning me on my side)

 

rhis morning I was wheeled down again and the whole mri thing was repeated. Got zapped a second time and was offered a sedative for removal but I was scared of beeing put under so I had the device removed without pain reliëf which was completely do-able. Unconfortable but not really Painful.

 

then I was brought back to my room, had Some tea and toast and took a hot shower and then went Home. 

 

Now three externals, one chemo and one brachy left and i hope that  Will be the end of this nightmare forever 

 

 

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Rissag

Yay you did it! The second one will be a breeze now. I think the whole brachytherapy thing just sounds scary, so people just naturally get nervous and scared but it really isn’t as bad as we build it up to be. So glad everything went well for you ,before you know it treatment will just be a memory. I don’t really care for mri’s either, pet scans aren’t so bad for me ,but I don’t like the mri.

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19
Rissag

How are you feeling Izzy?

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19
Izzzy76

hi

 

so sweet of you for asking. Not having a good day. My treatment is almost over and that feels so scary. I have no idea how to live normal again. 

 

How are you coping? 

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Rissag

I think now that I’ve had a break from the hospitals it’s getting easier.when my treatment first ended I had follow ups in the first two months which felt like I didn’t have a break and that was stressful , but this month has just been a break and I enjoyed it.i feel like with time it has gotten easier, almost feels like a bad dream, I have my post treatment scan in a couple of weeks and just get nervous but I’ll be glad it will be over with.

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19
Tivoli
Tivoli's picture

Hello Izzy!

Sorry I have arrived quite so late to this party, but Wow! You are doing brilliantly! It's been great to read how your fear has receded over the last few weeks and even better to read how much smaller your tumour is! You might just be this year's pin-up girl ;-)

Yeah, after daily trips to the hospital over 5 or 6 weeks it does feel very strange to be at home with no medical staff to talk to, and that is something that is rarely mentioned. Try to make sure you have friends around to distract you from moments of paranoia. If you have energy to go out and meet friends at cafes then that is great, but if you are tired from all the treatment then ask your friends to come and visit you at home. It's important that you don't have too much time all by yourself straight after you have had such a hectic lifestyle. Be kind to yourself.

Be lucky :-)
Tivoli 

Izzzy76

Thank you so much Tivoli, not just for giving me a heads up but giving hope to all the ladies here. Your postings are so uplifting and comforting, so thank you ❤️

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Tivoli
Tivoli's picture

You're very welcome! For several years I was in this forum for a few hours every day, I am here far less frequently now, but I know what an important resource this is and I try to help as many people as I can while I am here. I hope that one day you will do the same :-)

Be lucky :-)
Tivoli

Izzzy76

Live from the hospital bed. Tumor down from 1,4cc last week to 0,4 cc before my first brachy this morning , lymph nodes no longer showing up on mri 

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Rissag

Yay, that’s wonderful news! You’re almost done with treatment,  now you can rest and put treatment in the past :-)

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19
Izzzy76

I am done.  

 

Feeling lost , relieved, scared and exhausted all in one. 

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Tivoli
Tivoli's picture

Fabulous, fabulous news :-)

I have no doubt that you feel lost, relieved and exhausted, try not to feel scared, you have done wonderful things since you began this thread. Now it's time to spoil yourself, gently of course :-)

Be lucky :-)
Tivoli

Rissag

Woo hoo you did it, congratulations Izzy you’re finished!

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19
Izzzy76

thank you both for cheering me on. Means the world t me. I slept for over 14 hours straigh, I was absolutely nackered. It feels so strange beeing “ set free”

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Rissag

You’re absolutely welcome !.try to get some rest and enjoy the break, I repeat tivolli’s words try not to be alone to often if u can. I feel like if I’m home alone to often I tend to get in my head and freak myself out. I tend to go to my family’s a lot or have them come over , and on the weekends I try to find anything to do that will get me out of the house.

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19
Amyw26

Hi there, i have been reading your story and all the comments and it has helped me feel a bit more confident as I start my radiotherapy journey today. I have a diagnosis of stage 3 cervical cancer, one lymph node a bit dodgy looking, is such a scary time as I have 3 children and it is so hard to think about the what ifs. But the positivity that you guys have shown has really helped me xx

Amy W
Izzzy76

Ahw so so sorry you had to join this club no one wants to be in.

Wishing you all the best during your treatment ❤️

 

It’s not an easy road but You’ll Make it through!!

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
emmz13

Well done on being an absolute warrior and getting through treatment!! 

Try to enjoy the freedom as much as you can and be extra kind to yourself, much love xx 

May 19 odd symptoms

03/06/19 doctors appt internal exam, said everything looked fine, did smear. 

10/06/19 urgent colposcopy due to HPV positive and severe changes. 

21/06/19 consultant sees 2cm tumour takes punch biopsies. She’s pretty sure it’s cc.

24/06/19 cancer confirmed, grade 3 preliminary staging 1b.

03/07/19 X-ray. 08/07/19 MRI and PET scan. 10/07/19 MDT meeting

15/07/19 restaged 2b parametrial invasion no lymph node involvement.

16/07/19 treatment 5 1/2 weeks chemorads

18/07/19 planning MRI 26/07/19 preassessment Chemo

05/08/19 chemorads start

11/09/19 chemorads end!!!! 

16/09/19 Brachy

19/09/19 DONE!!!! 

Izzzy76

had my first post treatment check up and my doctors were really surprised with how well I was doing. My cervix and vagina show no sign of tumor or damage, and my blood levels are back to normal.

 

They both told me that this is quite rare this fast post treatment and they were really pleased. In januari I will have my first mri scan, not looking forward to that but really happy with todays news

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Rissag

Great news Izzy, so happy to hear!

  • 01/22/2019 abnormal pap results 
  • 04/04/2019 colposcopy/ punch biopsy 
  • 04/15/2019 diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma stage 1b2 6cm tumor 
  • 5/10/2019 egg retrieval surgery. 2 eggs retrieved and frozen 5/23/2019. 5 slit laparoscopic lymph node removal surgery and ovary transposition. 1pelvic lymph node involvement, bumped up to stage 3
  • 6/19/2019 started radiation and chemo
  • 8/5/2019 4 brachytherapy. Finished cancer treatment 25 radiation 5 chemo and 4 brachytherapy,Awaiting scan in November 
Pet scan results NED 11/13/19

More Information

Treatments for cervical cancer