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I messed up with my man ..or he with me :-(

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I messed up with my man ..or he with me :-(

Hi!I I'm new here.

1½ weeks ago after telling my man news I I had TOTAL melt down and because I couldn't seem to accept not just cold, hard, money grubbing doctors (who, to be quite honest, I believe exaggerate as where I live, majority of income made from chemo drugs...I've NO trust in them) but also that the gynecologist that did the D&C & Colposcopy at same time really butchered my cervix.  He couldn't take off work to take me to hospital so I had to get this news of cancer all alone.  It's the worst thing one can ever hear.  Yet I was alone.

I called him when I got home and he was nice but I think he's just in denial.  I told him when we first became intimate that I'd had "minor" cervical cancer 26 years ago as it was obvious from the bleeding something was off.  I've not allowed a man "in" intimately physically or emotionally in over 10 years now.  So I thought bleeding could POSSIBLY be from that as I'm quite "tight".  I kinda sorta thought might be more than such as I was a DES baby and, as stated, had "mini cancer" of cervix 26 years ago 

SOOO...next morning I was bleeding and it went on and on and on.  He claims he didn't know I was having surgery else would have been there (UM...what person with braincells shows up at a surgical center at 5:30 in the morning EXCEPT perhaps someone having surgery?).

Anyway, emotions totally out of control I texted him an entire encyclopedia of nastiness.  I wasn't nice at all.  VERY antagonist and passive aggressive all mixed in.

Two weeks ago he adored me.  Two days ago he's "out of tow.  Will call you when I get back.  Don't try to call me".

I TOLD him the NIGHT before that surgery just mentioned, crying back tears, that I love him very much and if I'm diagnosed in morning I want him to just move on and be happy (as I'm not doing traditional treatment).  I was likely too emotional to understand.


I don't know if he's avoiding me (ignoring, more accurately) because of cancer or because I threw at poop storm of very mean texts at him as I was so very upset that he was so aloof over surgery.

He KNEW it was surgery.  There's no way he couldn't have.  I texted him that morning with emergency phone numbers in case I dropped dead from anthesthetic (my dog's breeder,  etc).

I think people can go very deep in denial OR show their true colors.

I just couldn't contain the hurt anymore.

It might be good time to mention he was leaving a girlfriend in June and when he tried to she went into some coronary attack and had to have a quadruple bypass.  She knew she had heart issues for years prior and hate to think she put a timer on when to make it a big issue BUT (sorry, not sorry).  He stood by her every step of the way but now he's still stuck there and miserable.  Almost lost his job over taking time off to go by her in 2 week hospital stay.  

He knew, from my bleeding, something was wrong prior to that and was pushing me to get it taken care of of so we could start a life together.

Real bad timing.  Bad summer.


Any advice would be appreciated 




I am sorry you got that diagnosis, and you had to do it alone. 

You probably won't like this, but by the sound of this he has a very busy messy situation going on. And if there is another woman (whether he is happy with her or not), you will need people around you that can truely be there for you. He may love you but between his job and the other woman (and her health problems), he clearly hasn't got the capacity to take in what you are going through, your reactions, or feelings and you deserve more than that right now. 

Have you got any family close to you or good friends. You need to surround yourself with people like that while you go on this journey. Having people you can 100% rely on, for appointments and general support will make things that much easier to deal with. 

I really hope everything goes well from here on out. 


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Cervical cancer