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Stage 4a or 4b- what to expect?

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Stage 4a or 4b- what to expect?

Hi just a post as I'm absolutely terrified. Im 23 years old, started out with symptoms of migraines 3 weeks ago that are now likely due to kidney disease / failure caused by end stage cervical cancer. 

I haven't been diagnosed yet but I'm absolutely expecting the worst so would like to have some advice please. Was feeling around inside my vagina in the shower on Friday as it felt achy and really lumpy/grainy. Took a photo in there and it looked pretty bad / red but didn't know what I was looking at really. I've never had bleeding or weird discharge so I got scared. I went to emergency Gynecology room today to see a doctor who said she definitely saw something on my cervix and it bled when she touched it. From the way she was acting it's definitely bad. I think it was very big and spread throughout the vagina and into the kidneys/other organs from the way she looked at the nurse helping. She did a urine sample that showed infection and blood and took a swab both of which she said would be sent away. She gave me thrush medication (even though I think she's very sure it's not thrush) and told me to go to my GP for a smear.

I feel really abandoned now and like I've just been left to die because it's so bad. Why have I just been told to go to my GP? Surely I should be in there now getting scans and sorting my kidneys out since they are obviously failing? I have had all the symptoms of kidney disease for a while and yet my doctors just assumed it was headaches. We really had no clue. I'm also feeling achy and sore, lost appetite etc (which I just put down to stress) so I'm convinced it's spread and is 4b. Obviously it has to be staged via scans but now I'm having to wait all weekend to go to a GP to be referred- why is this process so slow? It could be days or weeks before I'm seen. I just want to know so I can get on with treatment even if that is going to be purely palliative.

thanks in advance 



Girl, I see that you think like I do.  Assuming all the worst and self diagnosing and writing your will and planning the music for your celebration of life.  I am not making fun of you at all---that is exactly how I was, and it all has turned out okay.  I think a lot of women on this forum will echo me on that. 

First of all, remember that the only way to know what is going on is to see the doctors and have the appropriate tests done.  There is not way that feeling yourself and taking pictures and trying to read the looks the nurses are giving each other can make you sure of anything.  This is your fear talking, 100 percent. I know it is hard to do, but you need to try to breathe and stop thinking about the worst so you can focus on some answers. This might not be cancer at all.  There are so many things that can go wrong with the female reproductive system.  And if you play worst case scenario, even if what you are feeling is a large tumor, that does not at all mean anything about your stage.  People can have enormous tumors that have not spread beyond the cervix and tiny ones that have spread to other organs.  Size and gravity are not always related in the cancer game.  


I know that once you get worried, every symptom seems related, but they often are not.  I was completely convinced my cancer was in my lymph nodes.  I was convinced that I could actually feel them--that they were aching and throbbing.  It had not spread to my lymph nodes.  What seems like rational thinking to you now is actually irrational fear.


I would suggest trying to keep youself busy or considering calling the Jo's help line or your doctor to see about some medication for anxiety as you navigage the next bit.  I promise, getting worked up does nothing to help as much as it feels like a thing to be doing.  The best thing you can do is distract yourself until you have more information.


Best of luck and sending hugs and positive energy your way.  


11/18Abnormal Pap CINIII

12/18Colpo confirmsCINIII

12/18Cold Knife cone biopsy confirms CiNIII, clear margins-doctor suggest hysterectomy

1/19 second opinion-close monitoring appropriate

5/19, 8/19 paps and colpos CIN I

2/20 Pap reveals CIN III

3/17/20 Lietz under GA

3/20/20 Diagnosed with invasice cervical cancer, no clear margins

5/12/20Radical Hysterectomy, Lymph node dissection, ovarian transposition-Staged 1B1-no further treatment needed

Follow up 9/28/20



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Cervical cancer