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After dodging the test for... well I'm 30 now, I finally went to get my smear test done with the encouragement of a friend.
Spoke with the nurse, but couldn't go through with it as I found the entire thing unbearably painful. She told me to take deep breaths and I tried to but couldn't regain control and now I never want to go back :(.
This is after trying the smallest...whatever its called. My muscles remained tense regardless. I do have anxiety disorder, but... there's no way for me to calm down.. the only other time I've panicked fully before is when I had to have some dental work done and they had to put me to sleep because I wouldn't even let the dentist near me.
So yeah I've no idea if I'm going to try again, I want to for peace of mind I just don't want to go through the pain/ anxiety and embarrassment all over again just for another failure.
The nurse seemed lovely, and I don't think it was anything on her part, just my anxiety is far too high. I've just never experienced anything so bad Dl. Even through typing this I'm trembling and I'm still feeling off from when she tried.
Is there any advice for someone with severe anxiety? I've had it for that long I don't even know when my body's tensing up or not, and the only thing that calms me down is being on my own...which I obviously cant be during an examination...
Thanks in advance!