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Feel my son may grow up without a mom

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Feel my son may grow up without a mom

I just read even when you have a hysterectomy the cancer can come back.  

I have 16 and 18 and the hpv is everywhere from my mouth, crrvix to anal region. 


I feel so ashamed that Id much rather die from corona virus atleast that way my death wont be shameful and std related. 

Also since i cant work..i have no money to get a biopsy. I left off being diagnosed with abnormal cells and high risk strands. I just woke up from my first nigjtmare where a Dr was telling my mom i had cancer that spread to my lungs... 


Idk im really depressed bc its not a matter of if but when.


Im afraid to die but rather die from covid and keep my hpv a secret.

  • There is nothing to be ashamed of. 90% of the world population will have or contract HPV. 

  I was treated for cervical cancer just last October and I never felt ashamed. Why should I? HPV is part of the deal when people have sex. 


Now see if you can raise money for a biopsy, it is really important to have yourself checked.

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019

Hi Cecylia

it sounds as though you have only recently had a diagnosis and that you also live in the USA; I was also shocked to discover a hpv diagnosis but Izzy is right ; most people have hpv but usually their immune system fights it into dormancy. You can find out more about this on Jo's website information pages. The reason they have now started testing for hpv is that it is the cause of abnormal cells which, if left untreated ,can become cancerous. If cells are treated then the success rate is very high. Each individual case is different and so try not to frighten yourself by reading about other people. I had a lletz biopsy in September and was told the success rate is 95% so most women who get treated do not go on to develop cancer but your doctor may wish to keep a close eye on you. I have had counselling for health anxiety following all this and now I am in a better place. Please do what you can to get those cells treated. They may turn out to be mild changes.

Lots of us on here have been where you are now & have emerged knowing more about why the screening programme is so important. Usually the cell changes happen very slowly so it is important to try not to panic. 

The best thing is to inform yourself as much as possible from reliable sources and stay away from google as it will only scare you. Reach out for support and look after your immune system by eating healthily. Also do not smoke. 

You will find lots of support on here.

Take care & hugs



1st ever abnormal smear hpv & severe high grade dyskaryosis August 2019 lletz September 2019 polyp & nabothian cyst found Results hpv & mild cell changes polyp innocent Repeat colposcopy Dec 2019 test of cure January 2020 results of test of cure; no high risk HPV present , check up colposcopy appointment in June because of the discrepancy between initial smear & lletz result

Still worrying. Since i have hsil abnormal cells im juat gonna skip the biopsy and get a loop or lletzs done.