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Fighting depression

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Fighting depression

I’ve been having periodic tests and I find that every time they come around, I can feel the depression and anxiety come back to me. The waiting and fears obviously are the hardest times. I’ve been lucky so far but I can’t help feeling depressed going through this emotional roller coaster of wondering and worrying every time there’s a new test. 


How do do you handle this period of time? What do you recommend to do to keep spirits up? 



I understand completely. I am waiting for the results of my colposcopy and i find i'm up and down with my moods. I try to keep myself busy as much as i can, to distract me from my catastrophising.

When i'm not busy i tend to google search and street and worry.
I've been doing a bit of yoga and deep breathing exercises to try and relax myself when i can. One moment i'm convinced of the worst, then the next moment i'm reasoning to myself it's all nothing to worry about.

Only thing i can suggest is keep busy to distract yourself. If you have quiet moments, spend them enjoying things that make you laugh or lift your spirits.


March 2019 - low grade dyskaryosis.

April 2019 - colposcopy and punch biopsy.

May 2019- Results show HPV changes only. No CIN - follow up smear in 3 years.



I totally understand how you feel. 

I had CIN3 cells removed at age 21 and for the following four years I’ve had a yearly biopsy due to still having CIN1 cell changes. 

I tend to manage to forget about it most of the year then a couple of months before it I begin to worry again. Then it’s the wait for the appointment! Not going to lie when the letter comes with the appointment I do usually get upset I think it’s a release of all the emotions I’ve been building up from worrying. 

The only way I deal with it is by telling myself I’m doing the right thing by going. It is one of the only preventable cancers and by going to these appointments they can catch things before it gets worse. That eases my mind. 


However I do understand the feeling of wanting to burry your head in the sand!!


2015 - CIN3 cells detected and removed

2015 - follow up 6 month smear - cell changes back to hospital 

2015 - biopsy, CIN1 detected, yearly hospital appointment 

2016, 2017, 2018 - as above 

2019 - CIN1 from biopsy, clear from HPV. Smear in 6 months time.