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Positive HPV negative cell result

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EmmaAK
Positive HPV negative cell result

Hi all.

I turned 29 on Tuesday and on Thursday I had the dreaded letter. I know a lot about smear tests and cervical cancer as my mum is a cytologist, so I've lived around 'the fear' since forever.

This was my third smear test and was aware of the different process a smear now goes through (cytology and HPV testing) rather than previous just cytology.

I hate smear tests, in fact I put them off- I've always found them intrusive and uncomfortable but after 4 months building myself up, I went.

the letter came through on Thursday and I was HPV positive, negative abnormal cells. To say it hit me was an understatement! I just didn't understand.

My first reaction was... this is the start! I've just lost my great aunt to cervical cancer and I just kept thinking what does this mean for me.

after talking to my mum, researching online and realising what HPV was I then started to go into hypodrive.

I have been in a committed relationship with my fiancé for 7 years ... how had this happend? We are due to marry in September, How do I tell him? What if he thinks I've cheated on him? Has he cheated on me? 

I felt branded.... like someone had slapped a massive sticker on my forehead. "I have an STI" 

it took me a hours to calm down. 

when my fiancé got home from work I've never felt fear like it. But I gave him my letter and he was amazing! We talked through that it can remain dormant and I could of had this for years without knowing, but now they haven't started to test for HPV therefore I'm just finding out. His reaction reminded me of why I was marrying this man! 

however, my problem now is me!! I can't shake this stigma that I now feel is attached to me. I feel like he doesn't look at me in the same way. That he doesn't want to touch me, that I'm not normal. 
we have been having unprotected sex since the beginning, it's work for us. We have no kids and no pregnancy scares, people judge but we are just extremely safe. To get rid of this HPV I've said that we need to start using condoms. He has of course said if that's what's needed then that's what we need to do... but I don't think I'm ok!

I'm a smoker... which I'm probably going to have to quickly stop. I now feel like I'm on egg shells with my life.... how am I going to switch this off in my head for the next year without it being on my mind constantly! 

I feel dirty, scared and angry. Nothing I do is helping me shake this from constantly thinking about it, I do not want this to take over my mind.

Can someone offer me some advice?! 

Jazza
Jazza's picture

Hi Emma

Your post reminds me of a similar one a few months ago; just thought you might find the thread relevant - see following link:  https://www.jostrust.org.uk/forum/cervical-screening-smear-test/hpv-positive-no-abnormal-cells

x

  • Feb 04:  (age 47y) Smear test normal
  • Stopped going for smears!
  • Summer 16: persistent watery yellow vaginal discharge
  • Dec 16: PMB
  • Jan 17: Hysteroscopy under GA for ?fibroids - abnormal cervix observed -multiple biopsies taken, 1B1 (1B2 on new FIGO) squamous cell cc diagnosed - confirmed by MRI/PET scans
  • Feb 17: pelvic lymphadenectomy - nodes negative, Da Vinci radical hysterectomy- close anterior margin/LVSI/PNI, restaged to 2A1 (2A1 on new FIGO)
  • Apr/May 17: 6 chemo, 25 external radio, 2 brachy
  • May 20:  NED.  Side effects notably hypotonic bladder since hysterectomy - ongoing ISC, unilateral lymphoedema lower abdo/groin/leg/ankle/foot
AmyLLL

Hi Emma,

Im currently in the same situation as you and im terrified. Im 24 and had my first smear test last month and it came back HPV positive but no abnormal cells. 

I've been with my partner 6 years this year and he was never sexaully active before me so the thought that its possible ive had this virus for 7/8 years frigthens me because my immune system clearly isnt fighting it?! Ive started taking vitamins to try and help boost my immune system.

I just want someone in a similar situation to talk to and how are you coping mentally? Im really struggling and the thought of going a full year until the next smear makes me worry its too long and im just so scared.

 

AM

EmmaAK

Hi Amy.

I honestly know how you feel.

im more than happy to share my contact details so we can keep in touch and discuss let me know?

x

jbordoire

Hi,

I am 28 and received the same letter. It's made worse because they've only just started screening for it so it's hard to know how long it has been there. Although I initially found comfort that it goes away in most cases in 1-2 years, the not knowing how long its been there is making me so anxious :(

Hope you're both okay x

Emyc

Hi Emma

I too am in the same boat. I just turned 28, am in a 5 year relationship and got that dreaded letter. Ive had the HPV vaccination so it was quite a shock. I didnt know they changed the tests to look for HPV, so thank you for sharing that.

I really dont know how to digust this information,