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1st Colposcopy yesterday - now petrified

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1st Colposcopy yesterday - now petrified

Hi all,

Yesterday I went to the hospital to have my long awaited Colposcopy. I had a very long overdue smear test in January which came back showing abmormal cells, which scared me enough. I was due to have my follow up appointment at Hosptial in March but it was called off due to the Coronavirus. Since then I have tried to put it to the back of my mind, until yesterday.

They took a biopsy and samples, which was quite painful and led to much bleeding and chemical stitches. They even let me look at the screen during, which now in hindsight was a bad idea. I could see it wasn't all 'hunky-dorey' down there and of course, last night after not being able to sleep, stupidly Googled 'healthy cervix vs cervical cander'.

Having seen my own on the screen, I am absolutely terrified at the results and can't bear this 4 week waiting game. The nurses and specialist didn't really give any idication of any results, but just told me 'not to worry'.

10 years ago I went through a lot of hospital visits, scans which resulted in me having a tumour removed from my spine, luckily this wasn't cancerous. But the thought of having to go through something like that scares the life out of me. 

If anyone can offer any advice it would be so appreciated. I can't think about anything else and I'm concerned how this will turn out in the longterm.


Thanks xx


Hello CBG,

I am sorry to hear that you're feeling anxious about the wait for results, I too am currently waiting for biopsy results following my follow up colposcopy after having Stage 1a1 Cancer last year which was removed by LLETZ.

What I will say is, that, you can't always see Cancer unless it is more advance, no one was able to see my Cancer as it was microscopic and there are many benign conditions such as ectropion which does look quite sinister when you see it but is totally harmless and nabothian cysts etc. I obviously can't say whether what you saw is or isn't anything sinister but other conditions do change the appearance of the cervix which would be enough to alarm anyone. 

The Colpsocopist usually is able to tell you a rough idea of what they saw, although may not be as accurate as histology. It might be worth, if you think it would help to call your clinic and have a chat with them to ask what they thought they saw on the colposcope, but bare in mind this may be differnt to the final result.



Hey lovely,

I am really sorry that life seems shitty at the moment, I know how very stressful and anxious the waiting game is and it's hell. Please try not to let your mind work over time, be kind to yourself as no news is good news. 
Myself and certainly a few other ladies on this site were told they had cc at the colposcopy, the biopsy was just to confirm what the oncologist already knew, so try not to panic too much, if you weren't told that there is a strong possibility that it may not be cancer and if it is that the stage will be really really early and that's great. 
you have done all you can so please try not to worry, I hope you get some positive news soon.

massive hugs xxx 

May 19 odd symptoms

03/06/19 doctors appt internal exam, said everything looked fine, did smear. 

10/06/19 urgent colposcopy due to HPV positive and severe changes. 

21/06/19 consultant sees 2cm tumour takes punch biopsies. She’s pretty sure it’s cc.

24/06/19 cancer confirmed, grade 3 preliminary staging 1b.

03/07/19 X-ray. 08/07/19 MRI and PET scan. 10/07/19 MDT meeting

15/07/19 restaged 2b parametrial invasion no lymph node involvement.

16/07/19 treatment 5 1/2 weeks chemorads

18/07/19 planning MRI 26/07/19 preassessment Chemo

05/08/19 chemorads start

11/09/19 chemorads end!!!! 

16/09/19 Brachy

19/09/19 DONE!!!! 


Hello!  I am so sorry you find yourself here and in this situation, but I echo the ladies above.  It is really hard for any of us to know what we are looking at when we see a cervix, since we have not been properly trained.  It is also really easy for us to get scared and let our minds run away with fear, especially as you most likely have some PTSD from your last scary medical diagnosis.  I know that Googling and imagining worst case scenarios seem somehow helpful or productive since there is nothing to do right now but wait, but they are not.  If you start worrying, try not to go to the internet.  Go for a walk or read a book or listen to music.  Call a friend.  Or set a timer for five minutes, allow yourself that time to worry and then watch some silly television or draw a picture or clean something.  Just getting moving and focused on something else can go a long way to redirect worry, and I say this as someone who has turned worrying into an art form. 


Be strong!  You can make it through this wait.


11/18Abnormal Pap CINIII

12/18Colpo confirmsCINIII

12/18Cold Knife cone biopsy confirms CiNIII, clear margins-doctor suggest hysterectomy

1/19 second opinion-close monitoring appropriate

5/19, 8/19 paps and colpos CIN I

2/20 Pap reveals CIN III

3/17/20 Lietz under GA

3/20/20 Diagnosed with invasice cervical cancer, no clear margins

5/12/20Radical Hysterectomy, Lymph node dissection, ovarian transposition-Staged 1B1-no further treatment needed

Follow up 9/28/20



More Information

Abnormal cervical cells and treatment

Read about HPV