(0)
0 Items £0.00

What happened?

11 posts / 0 new
Last post
55
What happened?

So, if you look at my profile you will see that I have been undergoing treatment since September 2019 and have just been discharged in June 2020 until my next screening in 3 years. Physically I now feel fine but emotionally I am still trying to come to terms with it all. I didn't feel ill when I had my last screening in August other than coping with a bereavement and a stressful job..  now, similarly I don't feel ill but I am trying to take in and process the whole experience. I'm so glad that, for the moment at least, I am "cured" but I don't think the fear of cancer will ever completely go. It has been a rollercoaster with a positive outcome; I no longer have a polyp; my menopause symptoms have been addressed, I have learned a shed load of information about gynae health and I know that I have cleared a virus for the time being at least BUT life feels more precious, I have re evaluated many aspects of my life and I don't take my health for granted any more. 

Does anyone else feel the same? 

A

1st ever abnormal smear hpv & severe high grade dyskaryosis August 2019 lletz September 2019 polyp & nabothian cyst found Results hpv & mild cell changes polyp innocent Repeat colposcopy Dec 2019 test of cure January 2020 results of test of cure; no high risk HPV present , check up colposcopy appointment in June because of the discrepancy between initial smear & lletz result - June 2020 repeat colposcopy & pap - all clear - discharged from hospital - next smear in 3 yrs Back again August 2020 following post menopausal bleed; more tests! Turned out to be hormonal/menopause related but they also discovered a small ovarian cyst which they will check again in 4 months; cyst was not related to bleeding

Harvitt

What fantastic news 55! 

Embrace the new you and the new beginning. The only thing certain in life is change. You have grown and evolved from who you once were. 

I feel 'these things', I wouldn't say happen for a reason, because noone wants cancer or the worry and threat of it... But if it does happen it's our way of changing, adapting, growing and to help and support others in some way. 

 

06 Jan 20 massive bleed. 7 feb 20 smear came back highly differentiated severe dyskolious. 14 Feb biopsies taken. 21st Feb cc cells found. 22 Feb 20 told poorly differentiated squamous cell. 28 Feb staged at 2a. Tumour is 2.4mm/9mm 6 March restaged at 3c due to 3 lymph node involvement - x1 2cm. 12 Mar 20 met oncologist - told me coronavirus will probably kill me before cc does. 18 March 20 pre scan booked.
55

Hi Harvitt thank you for your kind words! You are right; I have grown from this experience; I am now in a sort of surreal aftershock where do I go from here phase! When I read other posts on here I think "there but for the grace of God go I".. 

Thank you to everyone on here for all the support. I hope I have managed to support some of you too! It's good to know I'm not alone but sad that we all find ourselves here in the first place. 

Hope you are all coping today

A

1st ever abnormal smear hpv & severe high grade dyskaryosis August 2019 lletz September 2019 polyp & nabothian cyst found Results hpv & mild cell changes polyp innocent Repeat colposcopy Dec 2019 test of cure January 2020 results of test of cure; no high risk HPV present , check up colposcopy appointment in June because of the discrepancy between initial smear & lletz result - June 2020 repeat colposcopy & pap - all clear - discharged from hospital - next smear in 3 yrs Back again August 2020 following post menopausal bleed; more tests! Turned out to be hormonal/menopause related but they also discovered a small ovarian cyst which they will check again in 4 months; cyst was not related to bleeding

LaurieBeth

It was funny that you posted this because yesterday I had the kind of day where I kept thinking, what in the hell has happened to me here? I think that any significant things that happen to us in our lives really change the emotional landscape, but facing mortality in this way...dealing with cancer...it packs a different punch. Espceially since we face years of follow ups with stressful wait times for results.  Other people may feel that things have gone back to normal, but for us it really is a new normal.  And that takes time to wrap your mind around.

 

Congrats on making it through, 55.  Hope you have a fantastic day.

LBA 

11/18Abnormal Pap CINIII

12/18Colpo confirmsCINIII

12/18Cold Knife cone biopsy confirms CiNIII, clear margins-doctor suggest hysterectomy

1/19 second opinion-close monitoring appropriate

5/19, 8/19 paps and colpos CIN I

2/20 Pap reveals CIN III

3/17/20 Lietz under GA

3/20/20 Diagnosed with invasice cervical cancer, no clear margins

5/12/20Radical Hysterectomy, Lymph node dissection, ovarian transposition-Staged 1B1-no further treatment needed

Follow up 9/28/20

 

 

55

Hi Lauriebeth thank you! It's a strange feeling isn't it? You have had a much tougher journey than me so far. There is a paper I found on MacMillan by Dr Peter Harvey called After the treatment ends which describes the fact that people need to psychologically process what has happened to them to find a way forward and it has some useful tips on how to move forward. I feel a bit of a fraud because I had precancerous cells but I still felt really scared and I still feel scared of what the future might hold but feel like I've been given a reprieve for the time being at least. I wish that Jazza was here to help.with posting a direct link but googling may help you find the paper. So far I have had a good day today. I got outside in nature for a takeaway coffee and a socially distanced walk near a reservoir to limit the hayfever pollen and even though I am a country girl for the first time in my life I saw 2 stoats close up. I think the wildlife is getting braver as there have been so few people around. Had a nice chat with my daughter and feel like life is slowly starting to move forward.

I hope you have a really good weekend too.

A

1st ever abnormal smear hpv & severe high grade dyskaryosis August 2019 lletz September 2019 polyp & nabothian cyst found Results hpv & mild cell changes polyp innocent Repeat colposcopy Dec 2019 test of cure January 2020 results of test of cure; no high risk HPV present , check up colposcopy appointment in June because of the discrepancy between initial smear & lletz result - June 2020 repeat colposcopy & pap - all clear - discharged from hospital - next smear in 3 yrs Back again August 2020 following post menopausal bleed; more tests! Turned out to be hormonal/menopause related but they also discovered a small ovarian cyst which they will check again in 4 months; cyst was not related to bleeding

55

Just googled the paper myself and it is called After the treatment finishes - then what? 

A

1st ever abnormal smear hpv & severe high grade dyskaryosis August 2019 lletz September 2019 polyp & nabothian cyst found Results hpv & mild cell changes polyp innocent Repeat colposcopy Dec 2019 test of cure January 2020 results of test of cure; no high risk HPV present , check up colposcopy appointment in June because of the discrepancy between initial smear & lletz result - June 2020 repeat colposcopy & pap - all clear - discharged from hospital - next smear in 3 yrs Back again August 2020 following post menopausal bleed; more tests! Turned out to be hormonal/menopause related but they also discovered a small ovarian cyst which they will check again in 4 months; cyst was not related to bleeding

FeelingTheFear

Hi 

Posting the link here as I have read it before and its an amazing article and brought up a lot of emotions for me 

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://www.livingwell-cancer-support.org.uk/docs/Peter%2520Harvey%2520-%2520After%2520the%2520Treatment%2520Finishes%2520then%2520What.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwil9fWT9pDqAhWoUhUIHdBiCSUQFjABegQIAhAB&usg=AOvVaw1cSOckS65Iapb0zXa_6EOP

Thanks for mentioning it 55, hope others will find it useful x

 

Feb 2020: smear = high grade dyskariosis

March 2020: biopsy = CIN3

April 2020: lletz = cervical cancer stage 1b1

May 2020: radical hysterectomy and lymphadenectomy. NED!

September 2020: first follow up

55

Thank you for posting the link! I hoped someone would help to find it. I'm glad the paper helped you too and that we can share it with others to help them.

Hope your weekend is going well

A

1st ever abnormal smear hpv & severe high grade dyskaryosis August 2019 lletz September 2019 polyp & nabothian cyst found Results hpv & mild cell changes polyp innocent Repeat colposcopy Dec 2019 test of cure January 2020 results of test of cure; no high risk HPV present , check up colposcopy appointment in June because of the discrepancy between initial smear & lletz result - June 2020 repeat colposcopy & pap - all clear - discharged from hospital - next smear in 3 yrs Back again August 2020 following post menopausal bleed; more tests! Turned out to be hormonal/menopause related but they also discovered a small ovarian cyst which they will check again in 4 months; cyst was not related to bleeding

Hope007

Hi 55 thank you so much for sharing such a wonderfully positive post after all that you have been through. I am happy to hear that you have been given the all clear. I had abnormal cells removed when I was 26 and thought that would be the end of it! I haven't had any problems for the last 25 years until the dreaded HPV test was introduced which has shown positive! Fortunately at the minute I don't have any abnormal cells however there is always the fear that could change. I also worry that being a slightly more mature lady that my immune system may not be able to fight the virus so well!! I am trying to remain positive and look after myself and that’s all any of us can do. I wish you health and happiness for the future and once again a big thank you for giving me hopexx

H

Jazza
Jazza's picture

Hi

Hi Hope

Just to share my thoughts about the HPV test. Although it does seem to cause a lot of anxiety, and something to be dreaded, it really has to be better to know your HPV status than not.  Compare my situation where partly because of a long history of normal smears I mistakenly believed I could safely stop going for screening age 50y.  I spent the whole of my 50s in a state of ignorant bliss regarding my cervical health only to have the rudest of awakenings when I hit 60y - see my back story.  I'm sure that had I known I was HPV positive I would have continued to get screened and would very possibly have got early and relatively easy treatment rather than the heavy stuff, with ongoing side effects, I've had to endure because of a later diagnosis based on symptoms. From my perspective the HPV test is something to be celebrated.

Best wishes

x

  • Feb 04:  (age 47y) Smear test normal
  • Stopped going for smears!
  • Summer 16: persistent watery yellow vaginal discharge
  • Dec 16: post menopausal vaginal bleed
  • Jan 17: Hysteroscopy under GA for ?fibroids - abnormal cervix observed -multiple biopsies taken, 1B1  squamous  cell cc diagnosed - confirmed by MRI/PET scans
  • Feb 17: pelvic lymphadenectomy - nodes negative, Da Vinci radical hysterectomy- close anterior margin/LVSI/PNI, restaged to 2A
  • Apr/May 17: 6x chemo, 25x external radio, 2x brachy
  • May 20:  NED.  Various side effects notably hypotonic bladder since hysterectomy - ongoing ISC, unilateral lymphoedema lower abdo/groin/leg/ankle/foot
55

Hi Hope and Jazza thank you for your posts. It is better to know your HPV status I think - a bit like knowing your cholesterol numbers or your BMI. I'm trying now to put it in that sort of perspective and live my life but I do still feel that I need to reduce my stress levels and see where I can make room to work to live rather than live to work. Life is too short to put up with unnecessary worries.  Lockdown has given me a chance to reflect on this - maybe too much!

Hope you all have a good week

A

1st ever abnormal smear hpv & severe high grade dyskaryosis August 2019 lletz September 2019 polyp & nabothian cyst found Results hpv & mild cell changes polyp innocent Repeat colposcopy Dec 2019 test of cure January 2020 results of test of cure; no high risk HPV present , check up colposcopy appointment in June because of the discrepancy between initial smear & lletz result - June 2020 repeat colposcopy & pap - all clear - discharged from hospital - next smear in 3 yrs Back again August 2020 following post menopausal bleed; more tests! Turned out to be hormonal/menopause related but they also discovered a small ovarian cyst which they will check again in 4 months; cyst was not related to bleeding

More Information

Abnormal cervical cells and treatment

Read about HPV