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coping with childlessness

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kathybrien
coping with childlessness

hello

 

I am new to this site i have had treatment for cervical cancer but I will never be able to have children. Has anyone else been left in this situation and how have they coped.

 

would appreciate any advice on this issue

 

many thanks

spacebunnyx

Hi,

I'm so sorry - it must be very painful. I've not had CC (lletz only) but have other fertility problems (rubbish eggs, one tube, endometriosis and my other half has a low count). We had 2 failed goes of IVF and its the end of the road for me from that point of view.. I guess I "could" carry a donated embryo but for us our next route is adoption. I do know of a lady who had CC and now has a beautiful adopted little girl - seeing them makes me feel that its not a second choice option, but an amzing and life-transforming experience. there are many ways to have a family.

 

xxx

2006 - Borderline smears

2007 - LLETZ to remove CIN 2

Clear smears until April 2013 (high risk hpv found) referred back to colposcopy

CIN1 - back on yearly smears

2015 - smear detects high risk hpv AGAIN colposcopy - nothing seen

2016 - negative smear high risk hpv AGAIN! Referred to colposcopy. Nothing seen 

Complex gynae history including ectopics, mc's, endo and lots of fertility treatment including failed IVF x 2

loui889

hi

I hope you are doing ok, I'm in the same boat as you, and probably can't offer you much advice, but I can offer you support, I understand, because we are going through the same thing. I got married last summer, and immediately we started trying to get pregnant, ok well not immediately, might have shocked the mother in law Wink ... two months later I started to get symptoms, and now I am 5 weeks post hysterectomy.

I started researching surrogacy and adoption as soon as it was looking likely that we would never have the opportunity to have our own children (at least in the regular sense), are you in a position to freeze eggs or embryos? To be honest though our life plan was always get married and have babies, now the option of carrying a pregnancy has been taken away from me, I get feelings of not even being sure if I even want children, maybe its a knee jerk reaction to cope, maybe in time when i've had chance to work through everything I am feeling it will all change again. 

(I have done a bit of research on the adoption and surrogacy thing, so if you want more information let me know.)

It is still all so new to me, that I don't have much advice on coping with this situation, I haven't worked it out for myself yet, but I wanted you to know you are not alone. I have a referral to see a councellor attached to the cancer unit, I haven't got an appointment yet, and i'm not sure its even something I feel comfortable with, but I do think if I don't deal with all these feelings now it will explode out at sometime, do you have access to something similar?

xx

FJC

Hello

I had a hysterectomy 2 and a half years ago having had no children.
Initially I couldn't see beyond the cancer and getting rid of it, but fortunately my consultant had the foresight to suggest I keep my ovaries (if they looked ok when he got in there) and consider surrogacy.
So here I am with 12 embryos in the deep freeze and with a wonderful woman who has offered to carry our baby for us.
I don't know if it'll work, but I have more hope now than I have at any other point in this horrible journey.
The first thing I did was to join Surrogacy UK as a non member (free) and got chatting to lots of people. Both surrogates and intended parents. It quickly helped me to see that tis could work for us.
If you have any questions about the whole process or just want to chat, please just pm me. I'm more than happy to help if I can.
Fiona xxx

27.11.10 Diagnosed Adenocarcinoma Stage 1b 14.12.10 Rad Hyst/Lymph node dissection 16.12.10 Lymph nodes clear 23.4.11 1st follow up appt

STAKIM

i had a radical hysterectomy 6 yrs ago and i had no children 

i was 25 yrs old so was in no rush to start a family 

i am probably one of the most marterial women in the world 

always looked forward to being pregant,carrying a baby, been able to feel it move inside me etc 

the thought kills me inside every  day and i feel ill never come to terms with not been able to have my own child 

iv briefly looked into surrogacy and i had 4 seesion for forstering 

i still have my ovaries as they wanted to keep them, with regards to my age 

im currently under the hospital agin as i have cyst onmy right ovary and they are investigating it 

i would love to go down the surrogacy routine but financially couldnt afford to spend 20 grand plus in one go 

i have had counciling several times and talked to other people about this 

i have research but still feel deflated 

i get angry and bad tempered 

i constantly feel frustrated 

ps - sorry about my spelling -im rubbish at it haha 

 

More Information

Living with the side effects of cervical cancer