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Decisions, adoption, surrogacy?

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xxdollyxx
xxdollyxx's picture
Decisions, adoption, surrogacy?

So I've never been bothered about having children, I thought about it years ago but my ex was adamant he didn't want them. Then I was diagnosed and my life changed. Now I'm 37, friends all had/having children and I feel I'm missing out. 

Had an offer of surrogacy (their egg as mine damaged by radio) and thought about adoption as have friend who has recently adopted a baby age six months. 

Really feel that time is ticking on and do I try with one of the options as I feel I'll regret it in ten years, or do I carry on as I am? Really finding it an emotional rollercoaster right now. 

Thank you in advance. X

7/7/14 diagnosed with cc

MRI showed no spread

20/8/14 radical laparascopic hysterectomy with conservation of ovaries. Histology showed microscopic cell in one of nine nodes removed and LVSI present, so radio chemo combo starting 20/10/14. Triggered menopause  - ovaries damaged from treatment :-(

January 2016 Pain in groin, buttocks, tailbone, legs and slight bleed post sex. CT scan and colposcopy.

February 2016 Diagnosed with lymphaedema in left thigh, groin and pelvis. Awaiting bone scan to check for osteoporosis. 

May 2016 Osteopenia confirmed.  Prescribed HRT. 

September 2016 On to four monthly check ups :-)

roodlechoodle
roodlechoodle's picture

i think if youve been thinking about it so much, then there is no harm in researching each option further. 

if you pursue surrogacy then you or your partner need to be genetically related to the baby. if youre a single person pursuing surrogacy then you will need to use your own eggs. are you totally unable to make embryos with your own eggs? going down the surrogacy route also requires quite a huge amount of money.

im unable to give any advice regarding adoption but from what ive heard from others, its not always possible to adopt a baby (as they are usually preferred).

research as much as you can and weigh up the pros and cons of both.

good luck xxx

Feb 2016 - First smear - clear

March 2018 - Started bleeding after intercourse, referred for colposcopy

May 2018 - Colposcopy and punch biopsies  - biopsy clear

30th May 2019 - Smear (still bleeding after intercourse)

15th August 2019 - High grade dyskaryosis

21st August 2019 - colposcopy and LLETZ to remove precancerous cells 

2nd October 2019 - CIN2 & 3 

3rd March 2020 - Follow up smear and colposcopy

20th April 2020 - All clear, no HPV

Bumblebee25

Hi Dolly,

I can't offer any advice of experience of making a decision around this but there is so much to consider and it's awful feeling like you're missing out on something that's happening to everyone around you. 

Like roodle says, i never think you can have too much information, and research helps. Have you looked at the direct gov sites on adoption and surrogacy? there is a lot of information on there. The adoption/ surrogacy dilemma is something me and my fiance will be looking into further when we're ready to but i know when i've looked at bits it can be so overhwelming at times but if you ahve someone that can look with you i think it helps :)

How is your friend doing with her baby? it sound slike she might be helpful with that side of the info. My friend has recently adopted 2 lovely children, they weren't babies but toddler age and they're the most amazing children and she says that she feels her family is complete now, which is lovely. 

 

hope you get some more info lovely and you're able to decide what to do :)

B xxx

 

2 May 2017 Smear 4/5 May 2017 Haemorrhage. 8 May 2017 Colposcopy, LLETZ, punch biopsy.10 May 2017 MRI 11 May 2017 CT 1 May 2017 suggested diagnosis of CC 23 May 2017 diagnosed CC 2b19 June 2017 Start Chemo/Rad Finished 27 July.5 August 2017 Brachytherapy18 October 2017 MRI 7 November 2017 12 week appt & MRI results - lymph nodes no longer showing, inconclusive about remaining tumour. Scan again in 3 months.   February 2018 - All looks good, NED.

June 2018 - NED

October 2018 - 1 year post treatment - NED  

October 2019 - 2 years post treatment still NED

 

September 2020 - we think still NED!? Fingers crossed! 

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