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Ive had 3 abnormal smear which in turn led to have 3 unsuccessful colposcopys. Seen consultant and only treatment left to have is a hysterectomy. I understand i need this, but now i'll never have my own children. We have previously been trying for a baby but has never happen. Hubby has a daughter from previous marriage and she's due to give birth in 4 weeks time. I feel so useless and angry that i'll never be able to give birth and experience what its like to be pregnant. I'm struggling so much emotionally and my mood keeps swinging. I feel lost and not me anymore.