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Don't think I can do this!

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Strawberry72
Don't think I can do this!

Sorry to come on here and grumble but I'm having a real wobble today. I'm 4 days into my 6 weeks of chemo radiation and am feeling overwhelmed. I'm feeling really nauseous despite all the anti sickness medication and today the diarrhoea has started. So I'm thinking this is the first week and things are likely to get worse and I just don't feel strong enough to cope with it. I had my radical hysterectomy 10 weeks ago and am having further treatment on advice of oncologist due to extensive LVSI. I thought I could do this and thought I was strong but I'm not. I don't want to feel sorry for myself, I want to get in a positive frame of mind as I'm sure that will help but just don't know how to get there. I now many of you wonderful ladies have been through this and got through it, how did you cope? I feel guilty for feeling this way as the treatment is helping reduce my chances of a recurrence but it is so much harder than I thought it would be. Sorry again, lynn x

2002 - CIN 3 - Lletz procedure May 2012 - CIN 3 Lletz procedure July 2012 - 1B1 cervical cancer, radical hysterectomy, 61 pelvic lymph nodes removed and all clear.  Extensive LVSI presence. Chemo/radiation started October 2012

nichola31

Hi Lynn

Im so sorry your feeling so rough - Ive been there and it is crxp...I had 5 months of chemo due to lymphnode involvement so I had a few wobbles myself, especially during the 5 weeks of radiotherapy. Plus, you are still recovering from your hysterectomy which is hard enough never mind having to start chemoradiation, so dont be hard on yourself, you are dealing with a lot.

I remember asking how on earth was I to get into a positive frame of mind when you are confronted with such a hard task ahead of you - being positive does not mean feeling brave all the time and smiling your way through treatment...a positive frame of mind means accepting there are times you are going to feel low and know that its ok to feel that way, and being able to tell those around you that you are having a bad day/week whatever. This is a time where you are allowed to be selfish, though it takes us women a while to be able to.

I would speak to the consultant or phone your keyworker if you have one as they can give you stronger antisickness medicine and something to stop the runs, don't be scared to ask for it, thats what they are there for, the last thing you want is your bloods to get too low and chemo to be put off - though if this happens its quite normal to happen as it happened me couple of times through treatment.

I finished chemo in april this year and can't believe what Ive been through and have come out the other side, so I can do it anyone can. Don' beat yourself up for needing encouragement, support or just a hug, your fighting a hard battle and we are all here for you when you need us.

sending you lots of love & hugs

God bless
Nic xxx

Strawberry72

Dear Nic, thank you so much for taking the time to reply, last week was a bit of a dark place for me. I think stupidly I thought I would breeze through treatment without too many side effects! Deluded! Hearing that you managed 5 months of chemo puts it into perspective and I will get through this. Have continued to feel sick all week but am due for chemo tomorrow so I will speak to the nurses. May also try some acupuncture, willing to give anything a go really!

Thanks for replying it really does help knowing you've been there and have come out the other side.

Big hugs x

2002 - CIN 3 - Lletz procedure May 2012 - CIN 3 Lletz procedure July 2012 - 1B1 cervical cancer, radical hysterectomy, 61 pelvic lymph nodes removed and all clear.  Extensive LVSI presence. Chemo/radiation started October 2012

fatcat57

Hi Strawberry

Yes, you can :D . Mind you, it's easy for me to say that as I didn't suffer from sickness/nausea and although my diarrhoea started in Week 2, it was easily controlled with immodium and the thing that comes in powder form (can't remember the name). You should also ask about a special diet; I wasn't allowed lactose, gluten, most fruits and veg and although it was boring it seemed to work. Try to eat some boiled rice every day and don't forget that old remedy hard-boiled eggs.

For the nausea, I had a very expensive drug that needs a special prescription, so I didn't need to take the steroids. A lot of the ladies swear by crystallised ginger - in fact I enjoyed it during my treatment even though I wasn't supposed to have spices. Sherbet lemons seem to be a favourite as well, but I live in France, where they are unobtainable.

Make sure you take plenty of fluids, more than you think you can hold!

Believe me, your treatment will be over before you know it.

Big Hugs

Remember: "the game's not over until the fat lady sings".

BusyBug
BusyBug's picture

Hi hun,

Chemoradiation is total pants, but they can give you things to make it a little easier, so holler loudly! I found that having something fun to do each weekend gave me something to look forward to! I also tried to get out each day - friends were brilliant at taking me for 10 minute walks in the winter sun/snow, and would take responsibility for the dog as I hadn't the energy. They would wash and dry my hair and paint my nails too! I found sucking on ice lollies, clear soups and mint imperials or sherbert lemons all worked quite well.

You will get through it...

Hugs,

Ceri xx

Sept '10 - diagnosed 2B CC adenocarcinoma Chemoradiation/brachy - completed 22/12/10 Confirmed radiation damage to bowel 7/11 1 year all clear - 12/11 Diagnosed with bile acid malapsorption due to radiotherapy - 12/11 2 year NED 11/12