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No sex for 6 weeks???!

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SusyJ
No sex for 6 weeks???!

So, in preparation for having LLETZ I was advised that I would need to abstain from sex for 4 weeks afterwards. It makes sense, but... A month is a really long time. Now I'm also seeing things about 6 weeks abstinence, and stuff about some ladies not being able to have sex for several months after...?! 

Had anyone else been really upset about this and struggled with it?

It's been 8 days since I last had sex (LLETZ was on weds) and I'm feeling really frustrated. Sex is extremely important to me, it makes me feel alive, and is how I express myself as a woman, etc...  but here's the thing...

I can deal with 4 to 6 weeks abstinence,  if I am still able to have *some* form of sexual intimacy with my OH. Even if it's just something ordinary like having a shower together, whatever.  The thing is, the only time we have any sexual intimacy is when we do the whole thing, if that makes sense. There's no inbetween. So for 6 weeks, I'm going to have no affection at all. (Yes he does hug me, gives me a peck on the lips, but you know what I mean) I would be happy with some nice skin to skin makeout sessions until we can go the whole hog again.. 

How can I express this need? I do understand that from a Male point of view, if you start ANY kind of sexy activity, even just snogging, the natural progression is of course intercourse and therefore its frustrating when you cannot allow that natural progression. So the logical solution is to just keep totally switched off so not to get frustrated. 

Am I weird for wanting to compromise and be intimate without doing the whole thing in the meantime? I can't really imagine going 6 weeks without being touched at all. 

From a very sad post LLETZ Suzy.  

Izzzy76

Well. Tell him. There are so many ways to be intimate without actual intercourse. 

28-8-2019 diagnosed grade 2 squamous 2B 4 cm tumor Mri suspect lymphe nodes but pet scan Shows no lymph nodes 25 radio extended field, 6 chemo and 4 brachy finished October 29 2019
Julia9054

Hi Susy

 I can sympathise - sex is very important to me too. Sometimes, however, we can have physical intimacy without really talking to the other person and knowing what is going on in their heads.

From his pov, he has seen you go through an operation on a very private part of your body. He may not be switching off to avoid frustration - he may be assuming that you are feeling vulnerable and not feeling like any kind of contact and that he doesn't want to pressure you. He will probably want to take care of you and not hurt you in any way.

The only way to resolve it is to really talk to him and explain how you feel - that you don't want to be treated like a china doll and need reassurance that he still finds you sexy and desirable. 
You can treat it as a time to try some new things and be imaginative. Be practical -  tell him what you'd like him to do and suggest some things that he might enjoy too (what man could resist his partner offering to perfect her bj technique!)

I was able to get back to penetrative sex after 4 weeks. I could possibly have done it earlier as I was all healed after 3 weeks but didn't want to risk an infection as we were just about to go on holiday.

It does get better - it really does!

Jx 

SusyJ

 Thank you both, very good advice. Much appreciated  :) 

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