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Sulky Husband making me feel worthless

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JoC1978
Sulky Husband making me feel worthless

Hi, I’ve just had a total laparoscopic hysterectomy to remove stage 1a1 cervical cancer. I’m 6 days post op, very uncomfortable but I’m glad it’s done. I’ve had gynae problems for years since having my three kids which has resulted in mine and the husbands sex life not being great. I’ve had two LLETZ treatments in the past two years and had been bleeding most of the time. Hubby knew this and that I was uncomfortable, but would still ask for sex, then when I said no would continuously make nasty comments. I tried to explain i was rejecting sex, not him, but it made no difference. After Christmas I was told I had cc and it was like a switch flipped in my brain- my whole outlook on life changed. His didn’t. He’s still sulking that we’re not having sex, I said to him it’ll be a while after this op and he just said ‘yeah well it’s been about six months, makes no difference to me ‘. There’s just no kindness or understanding or sympathy and it’s killed my love for him. I’m trying to recover and there’s just tension in the air, it’s horrible. I hoped that the shock of my diagnosis and the hugeness of this op would change him but it hasn’t. The day after I found out he went out with his mates as planned, even though I was in shock at home. The following week he went to New York for a week with his friend who lost his wife to cc, telling me he’d told his friends what was happening but the guy he went with told me my hubby had said I was waiting for my results, not that I had cc. Hubby knew his friend would tell him not to go on the trip so didn’t tell him I had cc. Hubby doesn’t know I know this. Chuck in the fact my nan passed away in that week and I’m looking at a broken heart wishing things were different but knowing they won’t be. I don’t know why I’m writing all this, it just feels good to get it out. When I’m feeling better I’m going to make some big changes for me and the kids. 

Feb 2016 CIN3 and LLETZ

August 2016 normal smear 

August 2017 Changes

November 2018 CIN3 and LLETZ

December2018 Stage 1 CC in sample 

JAN 2019 MRI

lisamarieg

Hi .. I've just seen this and felt compelled to respond. Firstly, I'm so sorry for your current situation and recent diagnosis, it makes me so sad to hear of the way you are being treated by your husband - Im sorry to say but he sounds he is having severe coping issues or is just a vile person, either way you could do without that kind of negativity in your life.

I sincerley hope you have other family or friends that are more supportive and that you have someone you can speak to.

My thoughts are with for a speedy recovery x

Lisa

Chaz86

I wish you a very speedy recovering. I completed treatment a year ago and me and my partner have just separated. He really didn't understand the toil thr treatment has not only physically but mentally. He thought i was purposely being difficult and had no idea. He wouldn't admit he couldn't cope and turned to drink and drugs! I hope he opens up and I think men struggling to manage their emotions especially with a very intimidate cancer! 

 

Charlie 

revelation

That's terrible. He's not being very supportive at all. I'm sorry, its hard enough. Stay strong for your children.

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Moving forward from a cancer dignosis